2018 was a rollercoaster. It was filled with some of the happiest memories, but with some of the most debilitating challenges. From moving to Uni (and back), to visiting hospitals/doctors over 100 times, last year was definitely the toughest.
2018 was supposed to be the beginning of an amazing new adventure in becoming a primary school teacher, however, due to ongoing health issues this dream was quickly disrupted by complications and falling ill with pneumonia. Just weeks after moving 150 miles away from home, I was rushed to hospital and since then have been in and out of hospitals more times than I can remember and have been forced to drop out of Uni. My days have become disturbed by medical routines and my favourite accessory has become a 30cm plastic tube in my arm.
Having a long-term illness is unpredictably problematic. Normal everyday tasks that seem so simple have become things that sometimes are too hard to achieve. Needing help to look after yourself is never what you would expect at 19 years old, but I’ve had to accept more help than I would have ever imagined. If at the beginning of last year someone would’ve told me that some days I’d be too cripplingly exhausted to get out of bed, I wouldn’t have believed them, but now I’m more than happy living in comfy pyjamas rather than getting dressed up every day. At times I’ve felt embarrassed, useless and like I’ve lost some of my independence, but small things remind me that I’m still as stubborn and independent as always.
At the moment it may feel like every hour of every day is consumed by medical mysteries and that my future goals have crumbled beneath me, but 2019 is a year of understanding myself and a year to discover the best way to accomplish my goals. Although the past year may feel wasted in some ways, it’s always important to remember the things that came out of it and the amazing memories that were still made. I had the best first year with my boyfriend and I’m more than lucky to have him as the most amazing support. I saw my favourite band live at an open-air theatre and I spent so many days with my friends and family on day trips out and holidays abroad.
So here’s to a new beginning. A year of improving my health, making memories and writing a random blog about it.