The Steps Backwards.

One step forward, two steps back. Frustrating, annoying, upsetting. Feelings of failure and disappointment. It can be a letdown and it can be soul destroying, but it provides challenges – both good and bad.

 

The other morning I woke up chesty, feverish and super unwell. This immediately sets alarm bells in my head, as I know this usually means one thing. Infection. Within a few days, I had been prescribed antibiotics, whilst still becoming increasingly symptomatic. I’m coughing a lot, experiencing increased chest pains than normal and have cold-like symptoms. It’s been just over a week and I’m still not feeling a lot better. I’m waiting on results to clarify which infection I might have, but I’m hoping I’m on the right course of antibiotics and heading in the right direction to get better.

 

I feel let down by my body. I have a busy week ahead, with my Dad’s wedding being a prominent event. I am supposed to be reading a relatively long passage at his wedding, but at the moment I am breathless and questioning my ability to do this. I don’t want to tell him that I can’t. It’s important to me that I am part of it, so I’m hoping that my body can pull itself together and gain a miraculous boost of life.

 

I am feeling very stressed at the moment. There’s no particular reason why I just think loads of small things are piling on top of me. I’m waiting on a lot of appointments or people to get back to me about certain issues, so the uncertainty is making me a little anxious. I’m hoping that in a few weeks, some of these will be resolved and I can focus more on the bigger issues. But for now, I’ll probably not stop stressing about anything!!

 

Things might seem at a standstill or at a slightly backwards moving pace, but the hundreds of steps forward are worth all of the steps backwards. Setbacks are there to challenge us and to prove to ourselves that we can do it. Look at how far you’ve come and it makes you realise how far you could go.

 

Ky x

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