Today is my 20th birthday (and Valentines Day♥). I won’t be doing a lot; resting, sleeping and eating are what my day will consist of. The perfect way to spend the day in my eyes. Do I wish I could go out partying? Maybe, but equally, I’m looking forward to spending the evening with my best friend (and eating the pink sparkly brownie heart he got me).
I didn’t imagine that at 20 years old a birthday would feel so scary. Getting older is no fun, but knowing the state of my health, this year feels even scarier. The position I’m in is uncertain and I don’t know what state I’ll be in 5 years down the line. With each birthday that comes and each year that passes, I feel more scared about the future. I have some anxiety surrounding birthdays and I don’t feel like I can celebrate them in the same way anymore.
This past year has taught me a lot. The experiences and situations I’ve been in have developed my character and I feel like I’ve accepted more of who I am. I’ve been in situations which no teenager should have to, but it’s helped me to mature and realise that life is too short to not be yourself. I am weary of being a real adult now (18 and 19 didn’t count), but I am looking forward to the challenges.
I hope that my 20’s are amazing. I want to have children and live in a cute house with my boyfriend. I want a job that I can be proud of and I want to create the memories I dream of. People say 20’s are the best years of your life and I hope they will be.
Whether in a relationship or not; Happy Valentines Day!♥